ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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