She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize