he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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