Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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