I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
