afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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