And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
