you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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