My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
they need to just BURY HIM!
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Randomize
