I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize