I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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