She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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