Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
