Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Randomize
