need another drink. this is the easiest way
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
