drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
