Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
