i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
