We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I puked a lego.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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