Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
