You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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