she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
