just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
