you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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