captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I just found puke in my bra..
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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