And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
