it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I love you. Go after that dick
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