Who did Billy Mays play for?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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