i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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