This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
