those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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