OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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