I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
