I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
