who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
