Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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