somebody snuck up and got me drunk
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
