I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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