u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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