i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
only you would photoshop your dick
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
