I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
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Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
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no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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