white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
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Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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