my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize