Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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