I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
