last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
