yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
