I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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