So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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