I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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