Can i not drive my cunt home
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
