margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
My pussy is not your playground.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I need to sanitize my soul.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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