Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
She's JV to your varsity
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
