Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize