i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
