Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
