i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
