She's JV to your varsity
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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